


Toe-to-Toe

by zennie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:04:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8193052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zennie/pseuds/zennie
Summary: Alex is injured during an attempted prison break and Lucy is there to help her recover. A Directorship slow burn.





	1. Chapter 1

“Major?” The voice in Lucy’s ear was strained, as if the speaker were summoning up her last bit of strength. “How is she?”

The she in that sentence did not need to be named; if there was one person that Alex would need to know about, it was Kara. Lucy glanced to her right, underneath the ruined control console that provided an illusion of safety, where a medic was leaning over a woman in bright primary colors. “Unconscious,” she admitted into the mic. “That last attempt took it out of her.” 

She looked over the few uninjured soldiers, doing a quick headcount before reaching for her rifle. “Where are you?” Everyone had scrambled when the alien had burst into the DEO command room, and she had lost sight of the other woman in the pandemonium. 

There was a long pause, punctuated by a sharp intake of breath and the muted sounds of a weapon firing. “Get her out of here.” While technically Alex was not in Lucy’s chain of command, and she definitely did not outrank her, the words carried the force of an order.

“What about you? I’m not leaving you, Danvers.” 

“I’m cut off. But I have him contained. For the moment...” Another weapon fire, another pause. Her voice came back, stronger, less strained, but whether the other woman was recovering or posturing in a show of strength, Lucy couldn’t tell. “I can cover your escape. Just get her and everyone else out of here.” When Lucy hesitated, Alex continued, “Please.” The last word came out as a plea.

Lucy kept the mic on as she ordered her troops to extract Supergirl and take up position at the entrance to the facility. As they moved out, she swapped out her magazine for a fresh one and slung an extra rifle across her back before heading down the hall toward the containment cells.

A blast rumbled the ground under Lucy’s feet, and her shoulder clipped the wall. A crash sounded through her earpiece, and Alex grunted, her breath a long hiss of pain. “Are you clear?” Lucy could hear fear in her voice, edging up to panic. “Major, are you clear?”

“Supergirl is.”

“Where are you? What are you doing?”

“I told you, I’m not leaving you.”

There was a sound of scrambling, of footsteps, of the woman on the other end catching her breath. “You can’t get to me. Nobody can.” Lucy opened her mouth to protest. “He’s close to breaking through. Save yourself while you can.” 

“Not a chance.” The sliding door was bowed and warped where it led to the armory, and Lucy used the butt of the rifle to hammer at it ineffectively as a loud pop sounded somewhere above her head. “Alex.”

The comm went dark for a moment, and Lucy thought she had lost the connection before one last whisper came through in a burst of static. “She’s going to need someone….”

Another crash silenced the line for good.

***

Alex felt squashed. That was the only word that she could summon from her brain to explain the way her body hurt. Like she had been stepped on and squashed like a bug. It wasn’t exactly wrong, she mused, as she remembered a part of the ceiling falling toward her seconds before everything turned to black.

Gasping, she came fully awake, struggling to move her arms, struggling to sit up.

“Easy.” A warm hand pressed against her right shoulder, keeping her from moving. A face swam into her vision, dark hair, light eyes. “You’re ok, just sit back.” Alex wanted to struggle against the hand that held her, against the weird immobility of her arm, but the attempt to sit up robbed her of all her strength and the sharp pain across her ribs robbed her of her breath. She glanced left, saw her arm elevated and fastened to a heavy metal assemblage. 

“Broken in two places,” Lucy answered her unasked question. 

Memories came back slowly, the last few minutes replaying in her mind. “How...?”

“Are you alive?” For a moment, a pained expression crossed Lucy’s face, but it was gone too quickly for Alex to process. “J’onn and Superman arrived just in time to save us all.”

“Kara?”

“Here.” Her sister’s voice sounded from the corner, and the major stepped back to allow Supergirl to take her spot, her costume replaced by drab sweats and a t-shirt. Blonde hair hung limply around eyes rimmed with red. She looked as bad as Alex felt, worse almost, because pain so rarely darkened her features. Kara grasped Alex’s hand, careful with her strength, and Alex clung to it with all her might. 

“Don’t you do that again.” 

“I should be telling you the same thing.”

“It’s my job.” Alex tried to brush off the concern, uncomfortable to be the center of attention. “Mom would kill me if anything happened to you.”

“It would kill me if anything happened to you!” Alex tried not to wince as Kara’s grip tightened, but she wasn’t successful. A contrite expression showed on Kara’s face and the pain eased as she dropped Alex’s hand. “I can’t lose you.”

Alex reached up and ghosted her fingers over Kara’s cheek, the dark circles under her eyes. “Hey,” she whispered softly, and Kara looked at her expectantly, “you look like shit.”

Kara’s lips quirked into a grin before she tamped it down, trying to look stern. “You should see yourself.”

“I’m resting. Healing. You should do the same.”

Kara lingered for another moment, searching Alex’s face for a confirmation that she was really ok, really healing, before Alex waved her away. “Go. We’ll,” she swallowed past a lump in her throat at the thought that they might have lost each other, “...we’ll talk soon.”

Kara nodded and slowly retreated, glancing back at the hospital bed several times as she made her way to the door.

“The two of you are going to keep trying to protect each other until it gets one of you killed.” Alex had forgotten Lucy was in the room until she spoke, her observation clinical and dispassionate. “Then the one remaining will have to live with the guilt.”

“Nobody asked you.”

“Other people could be collateral damage in your quests to martyr yourselves.”

“Don’t project your sibling rivalry onto me and my sister.”

Lucy stepped back into view, her eyes steely from where the barb had struck home. The look softened, marginally, as she took in the battered woman in front of her. Her hand reached out, as if she were going to replace Kara’s, but it dropped an inch short of where Alex’s fingers rested on the sheet. “There was a clot, the doctors couldn’t find it. They were about to wheel you into imaging when your sister staggered in. She had been using her powers to listen and watch the surgery instead of healing.” 

Alex frowned, knowing how any use of her powers would have put Kara in danger. 

“She used her vision to find the clot, saving precious minutes…. minutes that might have saved your life.” Lucy stopped her description short of the part where Kara had to be carried out of the surgical unit, her powers almost completely depleted. “But she put her own recovery at risk.”

Alex looked away then, hoping against hope that the woman beside her, who always saw too much, would miss the tears starting to form.

“As for your own recovery... “ Lucy began, switching topics deftly, “we’ll have to go through a full fitness for duty review before you are back on active duty…”

“I have a broken arm…”

“With the possibility of nerve damage, a broken clavicle, two fractured ribs…” Lucy paused in her recitation as Alex slumped back on her bed. “Alex, you are a mess. You’ll need extensive physical therapy for that arm to get full strength and range of motion. We want you back on active duty as soon as possible, but given your proclivity for rushing into situations without regard for your own safety, we need you healthy before letting you back into the field.”

“We? Hank agreed to this?” 

“Yes. As the directors of the unit, we agreed on the terms of your reinstatement.” 

“Because you are not my superior officer.” Alex looked like she wanted to cross her arms over her chest as her lips curved into a pout, the very image of a petulant child. 

“I know. But in this, I am your superior, and you will follow my orders because I am in charge of your review.” With that, Lucy turned sharply and strode out, leaving behind a silently fuming Alex.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex stood, ill at ease, in Lucy’s office. The DEO and their offices were all steel, glass, concrete, and craggy rock with state-of-the-art tech everywhere. But the desk that dominated the small space was a throwback to a different time, a dented grey monstrosity that looked like it belonged in a salvage shop or a vintage store. The green filing cabinet was of a similar era, tucked into a corner just beyond the light from the desk lamp, as was the grey metal chair that faced the desk. The only gesture toward comfort or modernity was an expensive-looking executive chair, the black leather and thick cushions in sharp contrast to the 1950s military bomb shelter vibe the room gave off. Alex wondered briefly if Lucy had bought the chair herself. 

No personal touches, no pictures or knick-knacks decorated the desk, just a standard computer monitor and a paper file that the woman across from her was reading intently while Alex stood, arms crossed over her chest and back to the wall. 

“Two months.” Lucy glanced up, the start of a smile dying on her lips as she observed the posture of the woman across from her. “I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long without going stir crazy.”

Alex shrugged. She had, at first, chafing at her immobilized arm and inability to watch over her sister. It had been terrifying to have Kara in danger, to hear her voice in her ear but not be able to be there to rescue her; after the first few times, Alex started to lock herself in the lab to avoid driving everyone crazy with her pacing and worry, knowing distraction was the last thing they or her sister needed during missions. 

“I heard you requisitioned a couple of junior agents to be your hands in the lab.” That was a lie; Lucy had kept discrete tabs on Alex throughout her recuperation. She had been pleased to see that, after a week or two of moping around the DEO between doctor’s appointments, Alex had moved into the lab and settled into scientific pursuits. It had become part of Lucy’s daily routine to wander by the lab on her way to get a cup of coffee or a report to catch a glimpse of Alex, generally finding her ordering her ‘helpers’ around or her head bent over a microscope, dark hair obscuring her face as she dictated notes. The number of reports on alien physiology and biology had tripled, and several new devices to further the DEO’s mission had been developed in the short time Alex had been back in the lab full-time. 

Alex shrugged again. “I am a bioengineer.” 

“A really good one. The research you’ve been producing is top-notch. It’s almost a shame we’ll lose you back to field work in a month.” 

A pleased smile graced Alex’s features at the compliment, but it faded quickly. Casting an impatient glance at the file on the desk, Alex raised an eyebrow pointedly.

It wasn’t the opening Lucy had hoped for, and she resisted the urge to sigh. Their relationship had been rocky from the start, from the moment she had walked onto the training ground with her father to order Supergirl to fight Red Tornado, but every time she thought that Alex was giving ground and warming to her, maybe even forgiving her for the role she had played in almost sending Hank and Alex to Cadmus, the other woman froze her out again.

Focusing her attention back to the task at hand, Lucy looked down at the file in front of her, squinting a little at the scribbles that she assumed were supposed to be written in English. She wasn’t sure whose handwriting was worse, the doctor or trainer.

“It looks like you’ve taken your preliminary marksmanship cert.” Compared to her baseline, Alex’s firearms proficiency was not where it had been, but it was far better than it should be for a woman who got her arm out of a cast less than a month before. They had set the timeline at three months for Alex’s review, against the advice from the doctors, and Lucy had not expected Alex to be ready. Some tiny part of her had even been anticipating the moment where Alex would have to ask to have the review rescheduled, if only to see if such a humbling experience might provide a perspective on her own mortality. But based on the report in front of her, Alex was going to ace her review. Except…

“You haven’t done any hand-to-hand training.” 

“I’m still in physical therapy for my shoulder. Therapist just cleared me yesterday.”

“That didn’t stop you from getting out onto the range. Several times.”

Lucy let the silence lengthen, hoping that Alex would break first. “Agent Danvers?” she prompted when an explanation was not forthcoming. “Alex?” she risked the first name, wishing it didn’t feel awkward rolling off her tongue, wishing she didn’t have to worry about Alex’s reaction to her using it. 

The harsh light from the desk lamp framed Alex in shadows, but Lucy could tell from the set of her shoulders that Alex was deliberating on how much to confide, how much to trust her, and Lucy had to admit the feeling like she hadn’t yet earned Alex’s trust needled, just a little bit.

Tense seconds turned into a minute, and Lucy could feel Alex’s eyes searching her face. Finally, Alex’s shoulders seemed to slump, and she suddenly looked vulnerable, almost lost, as she spoke. “There was some nerve damage from the compression injury and ligament tears.” Lucy nodded; the injuries had ended up being much more extensive than they had initially thought. 

“Are they not healing?”

“They are. Slowly.” Alex paused before slowly exhaling. “I’m concerned about loss of strength and range of motion. I know getting back into training will help.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I’m not going to be 100% when I first start back. I’m going to have to take it slow.”

Lucy wanted to roll her eyes at the stubbornness and arrogance of the woman across from her or shake her out of frustration. Alex Danvers was a legend to most of the DEO agents, and her toughness was unquestioned, but she acted as if she still had something to prove, both to herself and those around her. “Afraid you’ll pierce the veil of invulnerability you like to project? Have people find out you are human?”

The other woman bristled. “It’s not people I’m worried about. It’s Kara.”

“Kara?”

“I’ve been injured before, but not like this. Not…”

Lucy watched the other woman struggle to get the words out. Even if Alex had admitted her fears to herself, Lucy knew she wouldn’t say them out loud. Not to her. Not if it meant knocking just one small chink in the wall between them. So Lucy spoke them for Alex. “You are not sure you can fully recover.”

Alex’s clenched jaw gave Lucy all the answers she needed, and Lucy sighed, her head dropping to scrutinize the file in front to her to give the agent a moment to pull herself together. “There’s nothing here that casts any doubt on a full and complete recovery.”

“I won’t know until I try.”

“And you can’t try because of... Kara?”

“I’m her protector. Kara… relies on me.” Alex pushed off the wall to stand a little closer to the desk, her voice dropping as if Kara was going to overhear her. “You don’t.... I… I’m the big sister to a superhero. I’m always in her shadow. You know what that feels like.” Lucy nodded, well aware of feeling overlooked, of being second best. “But the one thing, the one thing I have, is being her big sister. I’m the one she looks up to when she’s scared, I’m the one who is tough when she’s weak.”

That was the one aspect Lucy never had to deal with; she understood trying to live with a larger-than-life sibling, but she never thought about what it would be like to be the older sister in that scenario. And she had seen it, had seen Alex hide her fears, power through her doubts, present confidence and strength to her sister, only allowing her vulnerability to show afterwards or when her sister wasn’t looking. 

“Alex,” Lucy began, but Alex shook her head, cutting off any reassurances that Lucy might give.

“If she sees I’m struggling, if she doubts my ability to be out there in the field with her and keep her safe.” Alex swallowed, and her dark eyes glistened in the lamplight. “I’ll lose that place in her life, and I can’t lose that.” Her head dropped and dark hair swung down to hide her face. “Maybe... I am afraid she’ll find out I’m human.”

Alex tossed Lucy’s words back at her, and Lucy realized that she had struck even closer to home than she imagined. Kara might be larger-than-life to the rest of the world, but Alex was Kara’s superhero. Even without the superpowers and invulnerability that came with them, Alex seemed determined to live up to that reputation. Lucy marveled at the strength even as she wondered at the toll it took, and the urge to reach out and comfort Alex welled up.

Alex straightened, forcefully, pulling back from Lucy and the secrets she had just confessed, and retreated to her position against the wall, arms crossing her chest again. 

Sensing her need for distance, Lucy grabbed her pen and started scribbling a quick note on the outside of the folder. “So how can I help?”

If Alex was surprised, she didn’t show it. “I don’t want to have a training partner here with someone who knows Kara, who might say something to her.”

“Hank?”

“Hank is just as bad. He’s already overprotective, and if he were to treat me differently…”

“....Kara would figure out that something is wrong. Got it.”

“And it’s not like I can show up at some random kickboxing gym and get back into fighting shape.” 

Lucy’s lips quirked as an absurdist image of Alex beating up an aerobics instructor floated through her head, but Alex’s eyes narrowed, and Lucy schooled her expression. “So you need a place to train off the grid for at least the first couple of weeks and a discrete training partner, is that it?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, I’ll text you later once I secure those.” 

***  
The door in the darkened, boarded-up storefront had a faded stencil of a gym name, backlit by a single light coming from an office at the end of a cavernous room. In the dim light, Alex could see heavy bags hanging in rows and racks of weights in front of an honest-to-goodness boxing ring dominating the middle of the space. It smelled musty, of cracked leather and sweat, and dust tickled her nose. “Hello?”

“Hey.” 

The voice came from behind her, and she whipped around, her hand reaching for her service weapon before she realized she recognized the voice. “Lucy?”

“Yeah, hold on, let me get these lights.” The lights came on, low and buzzing, and slowly got brighter as the bulbs warmed, and Lucy joined her by the door, wiping at her hands with a rag. “Sorry, I had to deal with a blown fuse in the back before I could get the lights on.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at the worn grey t-shirt with the word ‘ARMY’ across the chest and black running shorts Lucy was wearing. “Let me guess, you are my training partner?” She did nothing to hide her skepticism.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.” Lucy flashed her a cocky grin, her eyes dancing. 

“Oh, that’s not what I’m worried about.” 

“You wanted to keep this quiet, and as you know, the more people you tell a secret, the more likely it will get out. You had already taken me into your confidence.” Her hands gestured around room. “It’s just us.”

“Nice place.”

“It was a front for a gun smuggling ring; it’s been used off and on as a safe house since it was closed down. You said you wanted discreet.” She gestured toward mats that stretched down a long wall of mirrors and free weights. “Shall we?”

Alex lingered behind, unclipping her weapon from the waistband of her workout pants and carefully assessing the other woman. The shorts exposed lean, muscular legs, a runner’s legs, and Lucy’s shoulders were toned and coiled, belying a hidden strength. Alex’s reach might be better, but if she actually knew what she was doing, Lucy might be able to give her a run for her money, Alex concluded, especially with her healing shoulder.

Lucy turned to catch Alex watching her, and Alex felt her cheeks heat a little at the open appraisal the shorter woman gave her in return. Spying a rotation machine in the corner, Alex settled in for a few minutes to warm up her arms and shoulders.

If it had been anyone else, the quiet would have felt companionable rather than strained, but there was something about Lucy that made Alex feel continually off-kilter. She had, mostly, forgiven Lucy for her role in nearly banishing her to Cadmus and they had managed to settle into a professional working relationship, mostly due to Kara relentless prodding and invitations to numerous dinners and game nights. Lucy had tried as well to mend fences, but despite Kara’s cheerleading and Lucy’s quiet persistence, Alex refused to warm to the other woman, or let her guard down, treating her in the manner that was usually reserved for people who hurt her sister. It puzzled Kara; hell, it puzzled Alex herself, but something in her gut wouldn’t let her open herself up to the other woman.

Which made the scene in Lucy’s office earlier so unusual; she had confessed fears and weaknesses that had roiled her guts for weeks, things she hadn’t even been able to talk to Hank about. It had been good, and probably necessary, for her to talk to someone, but that someone had been Lucy. It had confounded her, and Alex had spent the better part of the afternoon shoring up her defenses to avoid future blunders. All for nought, since here she was, about to embark on weeks of training with Lucy; it had crossed her mind to ask for another trainer, but Lucy was going above and beyond to help her, and Alex hadn’t missed the way Lucy’s eyes lit up when she hadn’t objected. 

“Ready?” Lucy asked, interrupting her reverie. She had punch mitts tucked under her arm as she held out a pair of bag gloves to Alex. “I figured we would start slow, let you knock the rust off.” 

Biting back the retort that sprang into her head, Alex simply reached for the gloves. “Yeah. Thanks.” 

Lucy obviously knew her way around a ring, calling out combinations and swinging the mitts crisply to keep Alex punching and ducking, the pace quick but not exhausting. Alex risked a glance away from the mitts to focus on Lucy, her face scrubbed free of makeup and sweat beading at her forehead, the intensity in her eyes striking. Before she could put a name to the feelings that lurked at the edge of her consciousness, a mitt tagged her hard across the jaw, snapping her head to the side.

“Keep your focus, Danvers,” Lucy commanded with a smirk.

The mitts were discarded for a kick shield, and Alex rotated through a variety of kicks, knees, and elbows, her body warming to long-practiced movements. She had kept in shape as best she could, hitting the streets and the treadmill as soon as the cast had come off, pushing herself in therapy, and the conditioning helped as they moved into the second hour of the workout. 

Alex could feel her shoulder getting fatigued, but she kept up until she landed a particularly hard hook and felt the impact reverberate through her shoulder. Pain didn’t lance through the healing muscle, for which she was grateful, but Alex could feel a hot throbbing ache start behind her scapula and spread down her arm. She winced and dropped her hand, ripping at the velcro with her other glove.

Lucy caught her wrist, bringing Alex’s gloved hand to her shoulder and reaching up to run her hands along Alex’s tricep, hitching up the sleeve of Alex’s t-shirt. “Are you ok?” One hand massaged the muscles of Alex’s shoulder while the other rubbed the underside of her arm, and Alex swallowed past a sudden lump in her throat.

“Yeah, I think so. Felt like scar tissue tearing or something.”

Lucy nodded, intent on her work, slipping further under Alex’s arm to work at the tight muscles between her shoulder blades while her fingers continued to massage the muscles in Alex’s shoulder and arm. 

“You box,” Alex said, trying to distract herself from the warmth that was spreading through her body to pool in the pit of her stomach. It wasn’t a question; the way Lucy moved around the ring, the way she kept to the center and called out combinations, was telling.

“Used to.” Lucy shrugged at Alex’s interest. “At West Point.”

“You were good.”

Lucy dropped Alex’s arm, stripped the glove off, and stepped behind her, digging her fingers into Alex’s neck and shoulders. Alex resisted the urge to roll her head back and melt as Lucy loosened a particularly tight spot. “Good enough, I guess.”

“Let me guess. Silver medal in some interdivision championship?”

Lucy’s hands stopped, and Alex turned to meet her crystal green eyes, narrowed suspiciously. Her hair was disheveled and plastered to her forehead, and Alex brushed it out of Lucy’s eyes without thinking.

Alex continued, “But it wasn’t gold so it wasn’t good enough, because if Lois had taken up boxing, she would have gotten gold.”

“My sister isn’t a superhero, but she’s still larger than life.” Lucy’s fingers ghosted down Alex’s arm, and Alex suddenly realized how close they were standing. Lucy seemed to realize it too, as she took a step back, breaking the connection “I think we’re done for today.”

“Probably,” Alex admitted, feeling the muscles in her legs starting to twitch in addition to the unnatural warmth heating the muscles of her shoulder.

“I have ice for your shoulder.”

Alex cleared the ring, picking up mitts and gloves while Lucy fiddled with a large plastic bag, finally motioning for Alex to sit on a training table in the far corner of the room. She tried not to wince as Lucy settled the bag over her shoulder and down her back, the ice penetrating through her light t-shirt immediately. “Ice for at least fifteen minutes.”

“You’re good at this.”

“I’ve been through a round or two of physical therapy myself.” Lucy turned to walk away, but Alex caught her wrist, pulling the other woman back around to face her. Glancing at the hand that held her with an unreadable expression, Lucy tilted her head to the side expectantly.

“Lucy, I just….” Alex stopped and shook her head, abandoning the many questions and statements that were rattling around her head, and said simply, “Thanks.”


	3. Chapter 3

The side street didn’t get swept often, Lucy thought, as she picked her way through blown leaves and scattered fast food wrappers on her way to the gym. The sky was dark, and the wind bringing in the rain blew her hair across her eyes and misted her face. Her steps faltered for a second when she saw a shadowy figure standing by the door to the gym, hood pulled up, but Lucy would know that leather jacket anywhere. As she drew closer, Lucy wondered if Alex knew how good she looked in that jacket, and if that’s why she wore it even when it was completely unnecessary, which was much of the time in sunny National City.

Sensing her approach, Alex raised her head and smiled, reaching out to take the cooler of ice from Lucy’s hand. It was the warmest smile Lucy had ever gotten from Alex, and her stomach fluttered in response. 

“Sorry I’m late. I got caught at the DEO as I was trying to slip away.” Lucy unlocked the door hurriedly as Alex crowded behind her, shielding her from the wind and rain. “I should get you a key.” 

“It’s fine. I left a couple of minutes early.” Alex threw her hood back and shucked her jacket and sweatshirt as Lucy hit the lights, warming the room with a sepia-tinted glow that held back the darkness outside and created a surprisingly intimate feel in the cavernous room. 

Lucy dropped her bag on a training bench and started taking her boots off. “Do you want to warm up? It’ll just take me a couple of minutes to get ready.” She was sliding her BDUs down her legs when she felt eyes on her, and she looked up to see Alex standing stock-still, eyes wide. Her boy shorts were no more revealing than what many women wore to the gym, and Lucy scoffed quietly. “What? You and Kara don’t change in front of each other?” Lucy stepped out of the legs of the BDUs, rummaging in her bag for shorts. 

“You are not my sister,” Alex muttered. 

Lucy smirked at that. She shimmied into her shorts and reached for the hem of her pullover, tugging it off as she finally heard Alex moving behind her. Lucy had been told often enough that she was attractive that she didn’t doubt it, but she knew she didn’t have the classic beauty that stopped traffic. In particular, she didn’t expect Alex Danvers of all people to be struck dumb by the sight of her changing. Pulling a t-shirt on over her sports bra, she glanced over at Alex, who now seemed engrossed in her warm-up. Alex could be straight-laced sometimes, so she was probably just shocked at the impropriety of Lucy changing where she could be seen from the street. 

She joined Alex, tossing her hand wraps before unwinding her own. “Heavy bag today.” Wrapping her hands was one of Lucy’s favorite boxing rituals; the cloth winding and flowing around her hands calmed and focused her, so she took her time with the yellow wraps. Once wrapped, she flexed her fists, a quiet look of satisfaction on her face. 

“You do that better than I do.” 

She shrugged, suddenly aware of Alex’s eyes on her. “I’ve probably had more practice. You ready?” 

The heavy bag had seen better days, the leather scuffed and worn, wrapped with tape to repair tears, but it was solid. “Be careful with your left. Half-speed and light touches on the bag.” Alex gave her a disgruntled look. “Work on technique instead of strength.” 

“Full power with my right?” 

“Could I stop you?” 

Alex’s smile widened and she shrugged a shoulder. Lucy steadied the bag and called combinations, cautioning Alex several times to take it easy with her healing shoulder. After ten minutes, Alex drew back and gestured to Lucy. “Your turn.” 

Alex didn’t call out combinations; she just held the bag and watched as Lucy warmed up, throwing a few light strikes with each hand before letting loose, stepping in to deliver crisp combinations and dancing back between each one. Sweat tickled down her back as she finished a jab-uppercut-hook-right combo. She was showing off for Alex, she realized, and the thought unsettled her, but it didn’t stop Lucy from glancing at the taller woman, finding her watching appreciatively. 

They swapped again, and Lucy could see Alex emulating her footwork and technique, her strikes gaining in power as she did so. Alex was an accomplished fighter, trained in a variety of styles, and like many cross-discipline fighters Lucy knew, Alex was always looking for new ways to incorporate the best of all martial arts into her own repertoire. 

They moved to a longer bag for full-range contact, and it was Alex’s turn to show off as she added knees and elbows to her attacks. It wasn’t the prettiest of techniques, but where she was lacking in efficiency and style, Alex made up it for with ferocity and raw aggression. It had a beauty all its own, Lucy had to admit, made even more beautiful by the woman performing the moves. 

Lucy grinned and shook her head a little as a particularly impressive spinning back kick and elbow combo rattled the bag. 

“What?” Alex stopped, grabbing a breather and a water bottle, taking a sip before passing it to Lucy. 

“I think I’m too much of a traditionalist for spin moves. It seems like the right opponent can take advantage of the time it takes, and I don’t like to take my eyes away from the fight at hand.” 

“If you do it fast enough, it can be effective. And you aren’t always only fighting one opponent.” When Lucy still looked unconvinced, Alex said, “Come here.” She indicated a spot on the floor. “Stand there.” A second later, Alex spun on her back leg and drove her knee into the bag, landing so she was squared up on Lucy, her hook just missing Lucy’s midsection as the smaller woman dodged the blow. 

Lucy’s mock glare as she conceded the point was met with a smirk from Alex. “You want a round?” Alex indicated the bag. 

“This is not my strongest suit,” Lucy admitted, but the combinations Alex had her practice were not as showy or complicated as some she herself had thrown, and Lucy acquitted herself fairly well, if the approving look in Alex’s eyes was any indication. 

Winding down with an extended stretching session, Alex winced as she pulled her arm across her body and her left shoulder protested the workout. 

“I told you to be careful.” Lucy admonished, and Alex at least looked sheepish at the reminder. “Come here.” Lucy indicated the training bench beside the ice pack. 

Alex did as she was told, but instead of the cold ice pack draping over her shoulder, she felt Lucy’s warm hands on her skin as the other woman massaged her shoulder. “You don’t have to…” she protested. 

Lucy ignored her, sweeping dark hair to the side to dig carefully into the muscles across Alex’s back, along her shoulder, and down her arm. By degrees, Alex relaxed under her hands, her eyes closing to slits and her head easing back. Taking advantage of a docile Alex, Lucy took her time, her fingers running over lean muscle to find places where tension knotted and bunched and loosening them one-by-one. A low “mmmmm” rumbled from Alex’s throat, and Lucy’s tongue slipped out to moisten her suddenly dry lips. 

“Feel good?” Her voice sounded deeper to her own ears, and she hoped Alex didn’t hear it as well. 

“Very,” mumbled Alex. 

“How’s your shoulder? Can you stretch it out now?” Lucy dropped her hands, reluctantly breaking contact, as Alex pulled her arm across her chest and flexed her shoulder. 

“Much better.” Turning, she flashed a wide smile that did nothing to help Lucy recover her equilibrium. Wordlessly, Lucy brought the ice pack up and settled it on Alex’s shoulder carefully, not trusting herself to touch the other woman again. 

*** 

“Where have you been?” Kara strode into the lab, the blue and reds of her outfit reflecting off the glass walls. 

Alex looked up from the device she was tinkering with, and the battery she had been trying to fit into the handle slid out with a thunk. “Damn.” She’d had an inspiration after the workout with Lucy, so she had come back to the DEO for a shower and some extra time in the lab, but the portable detection unit she had envisioned had thus far only amounted to a small pile of components that stubbornly refused to come together. Finally, she set the handle down amid the chaos and straightened to face her sister. “What do you mean?” 

“I was looking for you and I couldn’t find you.” 

“I, ah, had to run an errand.” 

“Ok.” Kara’s hand went up as if to adjust her glasses before she realized they weren’t there, and then she reached down and fiddled with a servo on the table. “It’s just that you were gone a long time.” 

Brushing hair back behind her ear, Alex dipped her head and tried to catch her sister’s eyes. “Is there something wrong?” Kara kept her eyes averted, her fingers toying with a piece of metal. “Kara? Were you checking up on me?” 

“No!” Kara sighed, her arms crossing her chest. “Well… maybe... a little bit. Is it wrong to look out for my sister?” 

Alex stared at her sister, trying to discern what was the matter. The last time Kara looked this stubborn, she had been trying to repair a crack in Alex’s favorite surfboard with her heat vision and had incinerated it. For weeks, she insisted that it was at a repair shop until she finally admitted what Alex had known all along. Kara might be a lousy liar, but she could keep things bottled up for weeks, and Alex had learned when she needed to wait her sister out. This seemed like one of those times. 

She was about to change the subject when, suddenly, a thought occurred to her. “Kara, how did you even know I wasn’t here?” If anything, Kara looked even more guilty, and her eyes darted around the lab, looking anywhere, really, to avoid meeting her sister’s gaze. 

“Well, you weren’t here, um, in the lab. And you just admitted you left so I was right.” 

“The DEO is a pretty big facility. I could have been on the range or checking on a prisoner…” Alex’s eyes narrowed. “Kara?” 

“I looked, ok? I couldn’t find you.” 

“You looked? Looked _how_?” Kara’s silence was all the answer Alex needed. “Kara, you didn’t.” 

Kara blushed at Alex’s knowing look, her hands tightening on her arms. “I don’t do it often. Just sometimes, when I’m in a hurry, I look… extra closely.” 

“You need to stop that. It’s a violation of people’s privacy.” Kara’s lips turned down into a pout, her favorite petulant look when she was told no, especially when it came to her powers. Alex rested her hand on Kara’s arm, drawing Kara’s gaze to her. “Kara… promise me.” 

“Ok.” 

“Good. So why were you looking for me?” 

“I was going to see if you wanted something to eat.” 

Alex grinned, as she should have been able to guess the reason. “Yeah, sorry. I grabbed something while I was out. Did you eat?” 

As if on cue, Kara’s stomach growled, and Alex’s grin turned into a laugh. Alex wrapped an arm around Kara’s shoulders in a side hug and steered her toward the door of the lab. “Come on, let’s go get you fed. Chinese?” 

“Of course. Like you have to ask?” Kara smiled as she let her sister guide her through the halls, but the smile didn’t reach her troubled eyes. “I’ll even let you buy me a double order of potstickers.” 

“Oh, let me, huh? I better get one, then.” 

“You wish.”


	4. Chapter 4

“That’s weird.”

Supergirl’s voice in Lucy’s ear was puzzled, and she was already swooping down to investigate as Lucy struggled to make out the object of Kara’s interest in the grainy video. “Zoom in on that,” she told Vasquez. “Hold on, Supergirl, let’s get a look at it.”

Blown up, it looked like a typical shipping container, smaller than usual, but nothing out of the ordinary. “Supergirl? What are you seeing? Supergirl?”

Lucy scanned the monitors, but none showed the Girl of Steel. “Damn it. All units, we lost audio with Supergirl. Who has a visual?”

Suddenly, Kara appeared in the video, landing in front of the shipping container and staring at it curiously. Body cam footage flashed on monitors as agents scrambled toward Kara, but none fast enough as the doors swung open and the hostile appeared, aiming a weapon directly at her. 

“There’s the hostile.”

“He’s got a shotgun.”

Lucy’s voice cut through chatter. “Get down there. Squad A, converge on Supergirl’s position. Squad B, set up a perimeter.”

Lucy could see the hostile’s lips move, but none of the agents were in audio range, and unease grew in the pit of her stomach. A movement caught the corner of her eye, and she glanced to the side to see Alex, watching the operation from a dark corner, her face a stark contrast with her black uniform and dark hair. Lucy grimaced and looked back to the monitors to see Kara shake her head, rejecting whatever the hostile was saying. 

A puff of smoke spewed from the gun in his hands, and Kara stumbled back. Lucy expected her to shake it off, but instead, she staggered another step and fell to one knee. 

Voices flooded the comm line from the agents on the ground. “What the hell?” “That shouldn’t have…”

The hostile stepped forward, raising the gun again, and Lucy heard a quiet gasp from Alex. “Get in there,” she commanded as smoke billowed up from the gun again and Kara crashed to the ground. An agent threw himself in front of the muzzle on the third shot, taking the brunt on his vest. He hit the ground hard, but now agents were swarming the hostile, and he threw his weapon at one before turning to run toward an abandoned warehouse in the distance. 

Supergirl hadn’t gotten up, and Lucy’s sense of unease grew. “Extraction team, get Supergirl and Philipps out of there.”

Lucy felt a presence over her shoulder, Alex moving more fully into the command room, watching the video display intently. She stepped up to stand by Lucy’s side, scanning the feeds. “Vasquez, pause screen 8. Main screen.”

The image flashed to the main screen; it was the bodycam on one of the agents with a clear view of Phillipps’ flak vest, splattered with glowing green flecks. Nobody had to name the substance, but Alex’s face paled, the worry in her eyes clear. 

“Extraction team, what’s your ETA?” Lucy asked tersely. 

“10 minutes out.”

“How’s Supergirl?”

“In a lot of pain. And bleeding.” The agent’s voice was incredulous. “How is that possible?”

“Just get her here.” 

Alex touched Lucy’s arm, the warmth comforting as Lucy met her gaze. There was no blame in the dark eyes, just concern, and Lucy felt the tension in her shoulders ease a fraction. “I’ll get the med bay set up. Get her to me as quickly as possible.”

Lucy nodded. “Extraction team, beers on me if you can shave 4 minutes off of your ETA.”

“Done, ma’am.”

Minutes later, the quiet hum of the motor pool was broken as the truck roared in. Doors slammed and voices rose, but Lucy only had eyes for Kara as they transferred her to a stretcher. The agents were being as careful as they could, but Kara was in obvious pain. Alex brushed by Lucy on her way to Kara’s side, reaching for her sister’s hand, wiping Kara’s hair back from her forehead. 

“Kara?”

“It burns.”

Alex’s jaw tightened, but she smiled, her tone quiet and confident. “You’ll be ok. I got you.” She nodded, and the agents started wheeling Kara towards the door, Alex by her sister’s side. 

Lucy watched, forgotten, as the doors closed behind them. 

***

A single light burned over the ring when Alex arrived at the gym; through the dusty glass, she saw Lucy in the ring, shadowboxing. Sliding through the door quietly, Alex withdrew into shadow as Lucy danced around the ring, her hands a blur as she threw jabs and hooks, leaning in to strike and retreating from an unseen opponent. Lucy’s hair was plastered against her forehead and the fabric of her tank was stuck to her back, but her footwork was perfect and her body flowed around the ring with an almost meditative calm. 

Muscles rippled along her shoulders as she punched and ducked, the movements smooth and practiced. Alex knew Lucy didn’t often work out in the DEO and she wondered how often Lucy snuck away after a hard day and worked off her stress in a gym like this. She had successfully kept her boxing secret from the people she worked with, and Alex wondered if Lucy had other secrets and who she shared them with. The image of Lucy with James at one of the rare game nights Alex had attended swam in her head, and she was surprised by a surge of jealousy at the idea of James boxing with Lucy. 

Hesitantly, Alex stepped forward, leaving the shadow to step into the bright circle of light, and said quietly, “Hey.”

Lucy skidded to a stop and swung around, surprise clear on her face. “Alex. Hi… I…. I thought you’d be with Kara.” She swiped at her forehead with her arm, dragging her bangs and leaving wet wisps of hair sticking out to the side. “How is she?”

“She’s ok. Bastard packed shotgun shells with kryptonite shards. She’s resting.” 

The surgery was still vivid in Alex’s mind; the painstaking work to get every sliver while Kara bit back her pain and tried to stay still so Alex could work. Her eyes had been crossing and her hands shaking by the time Kara fell asleep on the sunbed. Leaving the surgical bay, wrung out and exhausted, Alex had briefed Hank and the other agents, trying to find Lucy in the loose gaggle in the control room. Her disappointment had dogged her steps as she took a circuit around the DEO looking for the other woman before finally venturing out to find her here. Alex couldn’t explain the need to seek out Lucy’s presence, she had just known the comfort that she sought was there. 

Lucy nodded, her arms crossing over her chest. “That’s good. I’m glad she’s ok.” Her gaze was fixed on the mat at her feet. “I’m sorry. I should have been prepared for a trap of some kind. I just... I saw the shotgun, and I thought, I guess I thought she would be ok. I didn’t think it could…”

“Hey.” Alex was there in a moment, sliding between the ropes and crossing the ring to pull Lucy into a tight hug. “It’s ok. She’s ok.” Lucy tensed in her arms, and for a second, Alex thought she would pull away, but slowly she relaxed into the embrace until finally her hands came up to lightly rest on Alex’s hips. “Nobody could have predicted that.” Alex drew back just enough to make eye contact, taking in Lucy’s troubled eyes. “You aren’t to blame for Kara getting hurt.”

“I’m supposed to take care of her when you aren’t out in the field with her.”

“And you did.”

“Not well enough.” Lucy started to extricate herself from Alex’s arms, but Alex tightened her grip on the shorter woman, urging her closer. “I’m a mess,” Lucy protested.

Alex’s lips quirked at Lucy’s wayward hair, and she ran her fingers the strands that were sticking out and smoothed them back behind her ear. Lucy stilled at the touch, her eyes wide, and Alex felt her breath catch as that gaze burned through her. “Lucy…”

“We, we should…” Lucy took a step back, breaking out of Alex’s arms, “... get started.” Her hand waved vaguely around the gym. “If you are up for a workout, that is. I understand if you…”

“It’s the best part of my day,” Alex admitted honestly. 

A smile brightened Lucy’s face. “Mine too. If you are up for it. I thought we might do some light sparring today.”

“Sparring?”

“Body boxing. Neck to belt. It’s better than a heavy bag or focus mitts to practice defense. Until we can do full contact, of course.”

Alex licked her lips, suddenly nervous, wondering if she was being baited after seeing the speed and boxing skills of the other woman. Neither of them was the type to hold back their competitive instincts, and being constrained to boxing instead of full combat sparring where Alex could use her grappling skills and leg strikes, she was at a distinct disadvantage. “Why do I feel like I’m about to be rope-a-doped?”

The smile on Lucy’s face widened into a predatory grin, and Alex narrowed her eyes. “I am, aren’t I?”

“Come on… Alexandra.”

Alex drew up, her hands on her hips and a dangerous look in her eye. “You think calling me Alexandra is going to get a reaction out of me?” 

Lucy laughed. “I’m counting on it.” She scooped up a pair of gloves and tossed them to Alex before reaching for her own. “Suit up.”

They squared up, and Alex resolved to wipe that cocky grin off of Lucy’s face as the other woman feinted in, a weak jab angling toward Alex’s right shoulder. She expected the strike toward her ribs, blocking the uppercut and throwing a hard right toward Lucy’s stomach. Lucy stepped back and out of reach at the last second and circled, eyes bright above her gloves. 

She kept Alex busy and on the defensive with her superior hand speed, but she wasn’t able to land as many punches as Alex expected. They kept up a steady pace for a solid half an hour, a subtle chess game as they learned each other’s weaknesses and strengths. After a flurry of jabs and hooks, Alex thought she saw an opening, swinging around for a backfist. Her fist landed squarely in Lucy’s solar plexus just as hook connected hard against her ribs. 

“Oooph.” Alex exhaled, her body folding protectively around her stomach.

Lucy retreated, blowing out a long breath to recover and wiping at her forehead. “I was expecting a spin move.” 

“So you gave me a opening I couldn’t resist?”

Lucy smirked and shrugged her shoulder, her hands coming up as Alex started to circle. “I thought I could block it. You were faster than I expected.”

Alex darted in with a fast combination, jab, right, uppercut, hook, striking a glancing blow under Lucy’s guard before dancing out of reach of Lucy’s counter. It was her turn to smirk, but it didn’t last long as Lucy closed and unleashed a dizzying rally of punches. Alex blocked and parried, keeping Lucy from getting a clean shot, but she was gasping for air when Lucy disengaged. She was at least happy that Lucy looked winded as well.

“I feel like I should quit while I’m ahead.”

“That’s ahead?” Lucy teased, but she stepped forward, bumping fists with Alex before ripping the velcro and dropping her gloves to the mat. “I dropped one of my last opponents with that attack at the end.”

“Yeah?” Alex’s hair swung forward as she ducked her head to hide her smile at the compliment. “Just wait until I get back to full fitness. I’ll give you a run for your money.”

“I’m sure you will.”

Lucy’s smile faded, and she sighed. “I guess I should get back to the DEO. We still have a hostile on the loose.” She picked up her wraps and tossed them over her shoulder, grabbing up her gloves and water bottle. She turned away for a second before turning back. “Alex? Thanks. I needed that.”

Something fluttered in Alex’s stomach at the weary smile and obvious gratitude in Lucy’s eyes. “Anytime,” she promised. “I…” she gestured at a wall of heavy bags, “I’m going to do a few rounds. I’ll see you at the DEO when I come back to check on Kara.”


	5. Chapter 5

Alex sighed, and glanced up from her microscope for the third time in as many minutes. Usually by now, Lucy would have walked by the lab at least once to get her morning coffee refill. Leaning back in her chair, Alex arched her back and stretched, the heavy ache in her body making the movement difficult. She was going to be sore tomorrow, but she welcomed the pain and fatigued muscles. She was starting to feel cautiously optimistic about her ability to recover from her injuries after the first few workouts with Lucy, and she found herself disappointed that they had decided not to meet that night because of her physical therapy.

Her eyes scanned the hallway again, finding it still empty. Personally, she didn’t know how Lucy managed to drink the swill from the break room, but the major seemed to run on the stuff. Glancing down, she realized she had botched the culture she had been looking at for the last few minutes, and she sighed again, rising to rinse off the plate and prepare another sample. But her fingers were clumsy and she kept glancing at the hallway. Finally, she stripped off her surgical gloves and hung up her lab coat in disgust.

Half an hour later, she stood at the door to Lucy’s office, awkwardly juggling the two hot coffee cups and cursing herself for giving in to the impulse to drive to the coffee shop and get Lucy’s favorite, a flat white with an extra shot. All the lines she had rehearsed in the car had fled, leaving her bereft of a reasonable explanation beyond, “I missed seeing you in the hallway,” which would make her sound like a stalker or worse. 

A faint ‘Come in” answered her knock, and Alex leveraged open the door, the cups carefully stacked on top of each other.

Lucy was sitting behind her desk, files stacked on almost every inch of her enormous desk. She was in her Army uniform, her hair up and the crisp white shirt almost blinding in the bright glare of the lamp. Her jacket was hanging on the coatrack behind her, the gold epaulettes gleaming. 

“Hey,” Lucy said with a weary smile, her eyes alighting on the cups in Alex’s hands. “Is one of those for me?”

Alex extended the cup, and the major took it gratefully. “Careful, it’s hot. I was running out and I thought you might want like something better than the high test they have in the break room.”

“Mmmm, you were right.” Lucy took a careful sip. “My favorite.” 

Alex shrugged. “We have similar tastes.” She glanced around the room but there was little to distract her. Finally, her eyes settled on the paperwork piled up. “That looks like fun.”

“Quarterly review with the brass.”

“Hence the monkey suit?”

“Yeah.” Lucy sighed and nodded her head ruefully. 

“At least you look good in it.” The words slipped out before Alex realized what she was saying, and she felt a blush warm her cheeks. Mortified, she raised her cup and took a sip, hiding behind it. 

If Lucy noticed her awkwardness, she didn’t let on. “Thanks, but nobody looks good in this.”

“I should let you finish.” 

“Yeah… unfortunately.” To her credit, Lucy did look disappointed as Alex made her way to the door. “Thanks. For the coffee.”

“My pleasure,” Alex said with a little wave of her coffee cup, the liquid sloshing dangerously close to spilling as she hurried out of the room.

***

Lucy watched Alex leave, her eyes lingering on her departing form before she dropped her head in her hand with another deep sigh. She had been purposely avoiding the lab that morning, after a realization that her routine trips to the canteen were less about caffeine and more about her daily Alex fix. She had rationalized it as a covert way to check in on Alex during her recovery, but that rationale was starting wear thin now that they were working out on an almost daily basis. So just when she decided to stop arranging her schedule around catching a glimpse of Alex like a teenager nursing a crush, Alex had shown up at her door, with her favorite coffee, just the way she liked it.

She hadn’t missed the blush when Alex complimented her, nor the warmth that had rushed through her at said compliment, or at just seeing Alex at her door, or seeing her at the gym…

It was well past time to admit her attraction to Alex, or at least name it as such and admit that her feelings had gone way past the friendship she had always professed to want. It had been a convenient lie, and she might have been able to keep it up except for last night at the gym. That hug, and the husky way Alex had said her name… something would have happened, some line would have been crossed, if only she had let it. 

Lucy closed her eyes, reliving the moment, the weight of Alex’s arms around her shoulders, the heat of her body as she pulled Lucy close, her fingers tracing a path through Lucy’s hair. If Lucy had just raised up on her tiptoes, if she had just tightened her fingers on Alex’s hips, if she hadn’t chickened out, they would have kissed. Lucy was sure of it. 

What she wasn’t sure of was what it would have meant, to her or to Alex. Especially to Alex. Alex was more physically affectionate than Lucy, a trait the Danvers sisters shared, and Lucy knew she could be reading a lot into a few small touches and a single hug. And while their relationship had thawed significantly in the last couple of weeks, Lucy was not sure she could call Alex a friend yet, much less a… what? Possible romantic partner? Potential girlfriend? She sniffed at the descriptions that flitted through her head. 

She took a sip of her coffee, contemplating the enigma that was Alex Danvers. Laser-focused on her work at the DEO and on her sister, not necessarily in that order. Beyond her affection for J’onn and her fierce loyalty to a very small circle of family and friends, not much was known about her social life. Rumor had suggested that she and Maxwell Lord had been an item, but Lucy dismissed the thought out of hand. Alex had played on his feelings for her to get intelligence, but the hard lines around her eyes whenever his name came up were a tell. He had violated Alex’s number one rule: he had hurt Kara. There was no recovering from that. 

Other than that rumor, there seemed to be nobody in Alex’s life besides Kara. The two sisters were joined at the hip, with their TV nights, and while Kara seemed to be actively seeking out relationships, and for a few short weeks had dated Lucy’s ex, Alex seemed uninterested in any such pursuit, especially with a female coworker. 

With a final, heartfelt sigh and a sour look at the clock, Lucy picked up her pen and forced herself to focus on the sheets of paper in front of her. 


	6. Chapter 6

Lucy was still on the phone, and Alex’s shoulder was numb under the ice bag. She slid it off, taking it and her duffle to the locker room to change. When she returned, Lucy was still pacing the room, her phone to her ear and her hand on her hip, gazing skyward as if the lights would give her patience. Alex shrugged her leather jacket on over the black t-shirt she had found crumpled in a corner of her bag and stood awkwardly at the door for a moment before waving. Lucy gave a distracted wave in return before turning on her heel and pacing back the way she came.  
  
Feeling strangely restless as she walked down the street, Alex wandered past her car toward the neon lights of a small corner bar. Noise and the smell of stale beer assailed her as she stepped through the door, but she ignored the looks from regulars as she seated herself at a rickety stool in a dark corner at the end of the bar.  
  
“It’s on me.” Alex cast her eyes sideways to the guy sidling up next to her. His tie was loosened and the gel in his hair was starting to look greasy, and he held up a finger to the bartender authoritatively. “Let me guess, white wine? Or a rosé?” His smile at the bartender was just shy of condescending, and Alex cocked her head to the side at the bartender’s knowing expression.   
  
“Anejo.” She nodded toward the top shelf. “Don Julio.” The bartender smirked at the guy, whose smile had soured considerably. “Better make it a double.”  
  
The guy managed to tighten his mouth over his teeth into some semblance of a smile as he said, “I haven’t seen you in here before.”   
  
“First time.” Alex raised her glass in a mock toast to the guy and took a sip of tequila, noting the nearly-empty beer glass in his hands. “You want another… Bud Light?”  
  
He sniffed. “It’s a microbrew. Horchata Wheat.” He gestured at the bartender, who set another beer on the bar for him. “The brewery is just a couple of blocks down the street from where I work. Downtown. I’m a broker. Commodities mostly.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Of course you are.”  
  
“So… do you work at the new tech start-up down the street? Let me guess, QA? Project manager?” He almost sneered the last word.  
  
Alex shook her head at his persistence as she took another sip of her drink. “Actually…” She paused and looked at him, her head slightly tilted to the side to prompt him.   
  
“Michael.”  
  
“Actually, Michael, I’m a member of an extra-governmental paramilitary organization that protects the good citizens of National City from alien threats.” She smiled sweetly and saluted him with her glass. “I’m the CBA.” He gave her a puzzled look, and she smirked. “Chief Bad Ass.”  
  
The fake smile on his face finally dropped, his expression turning bitter and ugly as he grabbed at her arm. “Look, bitch…”  
  
“You might want to step off. She really is a badass.” Lucy’s voice piped up from behind him, and Alex quirked an eyebrow and gave him a slow, dangerous smile.   
  
Michael released Alex and turned, glaring down at Lucy. “Let me guess, you’re a badass too?” he sneered before grabbing his beer and walking away in a huff.  
  
“Really, Alexandra, disclosing state secrets and starting bar fights?” Lucy said as she slid onto the empty stool. “Whatever are we going to do with you?”   
  
“You are getting a little too comfortable using my given name,” Alex grumbled as she turned on her seat, her eyes narrowed in disapproval.   
  
Lucy smirked, her eyes searching the rows of bottles stacked neatly behind the bartender. She pointed to a bottle and said, “Scotch, neat.”   
  
“I was going to ask you to come with me, but you seemed intent on your call. Not work, I hope.”  
  
“No,” Lucy sighed. “It was Lois.”  
  
“I thought the two of you didn’t talk much.”  
  
“We don’t. But whenever she’s upset with our father, she calls and yells at me.” The bartender set a finger of amber liquid in front of her and she took a grateful sip. “Apparently, he can’t make some dinner in her honor for her fifth award from the National Press Club. It’s my fault, because we are both in the Army or something. I kind of tuned her out after the first ten minutes or so so I didn’t get all the details about how I spoiled her big night.”  
  
Alex chuckled at Lucy’s dry tone. “You want to order something to eat? I was going to get a burger; apparently, the mac and cheese is their specialty side.” Lucy gave her a sideways look, and Alex shrugged. “Said so on the sign out front.”  
  
When the bartender returned, Lucy ordered. “Bacon cheddar burger, medium, the mac and cheese, and a slice of chocolate pie.”   
  
Alex’s eyebrow shot up, and after she gave her order, she laughed. “That sounded like my sister ordering.”  
  
“Beating the crap out of you every night works up an appetite.” Lucy’s smile was almost flirtatious as she answered.  
  
“You mean, fending off my dizzying array of punches and kicks depletes all your energy,” Alex rejoined. She took another sip of her tequila, the alcohol giving her a pleasant lightheadedness. It had been a while since she had been out with anyone besides Kara, and it felt… nice. She took in the woman beside her, who was staring at Alex’s friend from earlier with a dangerous look in her eyes as he loudly disparaged ‘the bitches at the bar.’ Lucy had always struck Alex as having more refined tastes, but she seemed to be taking the dive bar in stride.   
  
Seeing Lucy’s eyes narrow, Alex leaned in and whispered, “Now who’s going to start a bar fight, Major?”  
  
“Oh, I’m sure they would start it. I would just… finish it.” The smile on her face had turned truly evil, and Alex had to admit this wasn’t a side of Lucy she had ever seen before. The guys became aware of her gaze, and their voices quieted down significantly.  
  
“So what was it like growing up with Lois Lane?” Alex asked, shifting topics as the bartender set their food down in front of them.   
  
Lucy took a bite of her burger, thinking about the question. “She was the star. Everything she asked for, she got. A new outfit. A prestigious writing summer camp. A brand-new Camaro on the day she turned sixteen.” She shrugged and sampled the mac and cheese. “Oh, this is good.”   
  
“I got the hand-me-downs. Not that I really cared. I was tomboy as a kid. I didn’t care about outfits, and I spent my summers on my bike terrorizing the neighborhood with my friends.” She smiled, as if at a treasured memory. “I talked my dad into buying me an old Mustang when I was old enough to drive, and I spent the whole summer learning how to restore it.” Her smile faded, and she stared down at the plate in front of her, the memories seeming to turn dark.   
  
“That’s when it all changed. Lois was at college and going through a rebellious phase. She started living her own life, and my father didn’t like it. He tried to control her and that just made her rebel even more.”  
  
“I thought it was when she started seeing Superman…” Alex interjected.  
  
“That was the breaking point, but they had been heading in that direction for a long time before.”  
  
Lucy was quiet for long moments, distractedly picking at her food, and Alex leaned her head forward to meet Lucy’s eyes. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how things might have been different if my father and Lois hadn’t had their falling out. That’s when he started on me. I was finally the center of attention, and he impressed on me how ungrateful Lois was. It was just the two of us by then, and I was finally the special daughter. So when he got me a slot at West Point, I went. I liked it. I liked doing good work, being useful, and my father had already impressed upon me the benefits of service.”   
  
Lucy sucked in a shaky breath then, and Alex reached out, almost without thinking, and rested her hand on Lucy’s where it sat on the bar. Lucy gave her a startled look, and caught a finger and wrapped it in her fist. “Lois realized way earlier than I did that, to my father, doing the right thing meant doing what he thought was right. We weren’t allowed to define that for ourselves. And I followed along, blindly, until...” Her eyes shifted to their joined hands, and then to Alex’s face, and Alex knew what was coming. “Until I almost sent you to be a lab experiment at Cadmus.”  
  
Alex squeezed her hand. “Lucy, don’t.”  
  
“Actually, I did send you to Cadmus, until your sister…”  
  
“No, Lucy, stop.”  
  
“You could have been killed. Or worse.”  
  
“But I wasn’t. You and Kara rescued us, and I’m still around and kicking your ass.”  
  
Lucy snorted at that, and her eyes brightened. “You wish, Danvers.” She took a shaky breath and glanced around the bar, seeing Michael glaring at them and their joined hands. “He really doesn’t like us,” she said as she turned back to Alex with a sweet smile, and even though it was meant to taunt, the little flip her stomach made caught Alex off-guard. Drawing in a shaky breath, Alex removed her hand from Lucy’s and went back to her burger.  
  
For a few minutes, they ate in companionable silence amid the click of the balls on the pool table and bland rock from the jukebox. “So what about growing up with Kara?”  
  
Alex sighed, trying to think how to describe her teen years. “I didn’t really grow up with Kara. I was fourteen when she came to live with us.” She remembered it vividly, the day everything changed. “I was up in my room and I saw my parents out in the lawn, and then I saw Superman, leading a girl to the house. Suddenly, I had a sister.”   
  
Alex toyed with her glass before taking a long sip. “She was afraid of everything, and in love with everything. They didn’t have birds on her world; she was fascinated by them, could watch them for hours.” Alex chuckled. “The popcorn maker terrified her, and the doorbell.” Her expression turned serious, and she felt Lucy’s fingers glide down her arm, quietly reassuring. Turning her head, Alex caught flickers from the blinking beer signs in the window reflected in Lucy’s unusually dark green eyes.   
  
Gulping past a sudden tightness in her chest, Alex continued, “More than my mom or dad, I raised Kara. She was so scared and I was there, in school, with the other kids. I was her guide, her interpreter… she relied on me. I was the one constant in her life after all the loss she had endured, especially after my dad… died.”  
  
“All Kara wanted was a family.” The guilt rushed in so fast it seemed to cause a roaring in Alex’s ears, muting the other noises around them, but somehow amplifying the heat from where Lucy’s hand was lightly gripping her bicep. Alex remembered all the mean things she said, and the even worse things she had thought, about her sister.   
  
“I resented her. I was a single child. I was used to being the center of attention and then not only was I displaced, but suddenly I had all this responsibility that I didn’t ask for. I was a freshman in high school…. I just wanted to be a kid.” Alex grimaced into her glass. “I didn’t always handle it well, the resentment. The anger.”  
  
“But you are close now,” Lucy muttered, pulling Alex’s mind away from the dark path it was on. “I kind of envy the two of you.”  
  
“It took time, but she’s my sister, and she’s persistent. Besides, have you ever seen anyone resist her? Even Cat Grant succumbed to little Sunny Danvers’ charm.” Alex picked up her glass and drained it, lifting a finger to get the bartender’s attention. “One of those fancy beers for me, and…”   
  
“Beer is fine with me.”  
  
“I feel like I’m dragging you into the gutter with me,” Alex said as the bartender deposited two bottles in front of them, watching as Lucy picked up the bottle by the neck and took a sip. “I can ask the bartender for a glass if you want.”  
  
Lucy fixed Alex with an inscrutable gaze, her green eyes bright and her smile flirtatious. “You can drag me into the gutter any time,” she said with a light laugh. Glancing around the bar that had slowly emptied while they had talked, she indicated the pool table. “Wanna play?”  
  
“Huh?”   
  
“Pool. Wanna play?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
Michael and his friends were still at a table in the corner, and Alex heard one mutter, “Dyke,” under his breath. In a lightening quick move, Alex flicked a hand out, upsetting his beer into his lap.   
  
“Hey!”  
  
Alex turned as he yelled, smirking at the beer soaking his pants. “You should be more careful.” Michael caught his friend’s arm, telling him to calm down. “And watch your language next time.” Turning her back on him like he wasn’t a threat, Alex joined Lucy at the table where she was racking the balls, her eyes dancing.   
  
“Can’t take you anywhere,” Lucy said with a shake of her head. “Wanna break?”  
  
They played a couple of games as they finished their beers, teasing on every missed shot. Alex couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun with anyone besides Kara. Lucy was surprisingly apt, and the challenging grin she cast at Alex after each shot she sank was just enough to pique Alex’s competitive instincts. The rest of the bar receded to the background as they circled the table.   
  
Finally, Alex lined up the 8-ball for the winning shot, and Lucy leaned over the table, her hair falling forward over her eyes as her body pressed against Alex’s side. “You think you can make this one?” she breathed close to Alex’s ear.   
  
Turning her head, Alex was surprised to see how close they were, how close Lucy’s lips were to her own, and she swallowed. “Piece of cake,” she muttered, trying to focus back on the cue ball despite the electric tickle that ran down her side where Lucy was still pressed against her.   
  
The shot struck the cue ball too far to the side, and the 8-ball hit the bumper instead of falling into the pocket. “Tough luck.”   
  
“That was cheating.”  
  
“You are an agent of an elite governmental agency. Who knew you would be so distractible?” Lucy quipped as she leaned over and sank the 8-ball.   
  
The bar had emptied out during their last game, and the lights started to come up. “Looks like we’re overstaying our welcome. Been a long time since I closed down a bar.”   
  
Lucy laughed at Alex’s comment and looked at her watch. “It is late. We should probably call it a night.”  
  
Alex went to settle their tab, and Lucy collected their jackets, meeting her at the door. They walked under the flickering streetlights down the block, and Lucy gave Alex a quizzical look as they passed Alex’s car. Alex was surprised to find she didn’t want the night to end as Lucy stopped and turned. “This is my car.” They stood in an awkward silence for a minute. “Thanks for the spontaneous date.”   
  
“Ah, no problem.” Alex stumbled over the words as the word ‘date’ reverberated around her head. “I, um, had fun.”  
  
“Me too.” Lucy lightly caught Alex’s arm and stood on her tiptoes, pressing the whisper of a kiss on Alex’s cheek. “Goodnight, Alexandra.” Then she was gone, getting into her car and speeding off as Alex stood on the curb, dumbfounded, a blush heating her cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie. This one is a little heavy Alex/Kara angst.

The light above her stove was still on, backlighting Kara where she sat on Alex’s couch and watched the door with steely eyes. Alex had barely shut the door behind her when her sister demanded, “Where have you been?”  
  
“Kara? What are you doing here?”  
  
“I had mentioned getting pizza tonight, and when I went to find you at the DEO to see if you wanted to join me, you were nowhere to be found.” Her nose wrinkled as Alex stepped closer. “You smell like a bar.”  
  
Alex sighed, sitting down on the edge of the couch to unlace her boots and stifling a huge yawn. After the workout, the meal, and the drinks, the only thing Alex wanted was her bed. “Kara, what’s going on? You’ve been weird lately.”  
  
“I’ve been weird? You’ve been secretive.”  
  
“Secretive?”  
  
“You are never at the DEO, you disappear for hours on end, and now you smell like a bar.” Kara’s voice had risen as she jumped up and began to pace in front of the coffee table. “It’s like when you were…” She caught herself.  
  
Alex’s eyes narrowed. “Like when I was what?”  
  
Kara’s eyes focused on the rug and her voice dropped to a whisper. “Like when you were in grad school.”  
  
“And what about when I was in grad school?” Alex was surprised at how calm her voice sounded as her heart felt like it was plunging into her stomach. Kara didn’t know, she had never known… “Kara?” she prompted as Kara avoided her eyes.  
  
“When you were drinking,” Kara replied softly, with a deep sigh.  
  
All the breath left Alex’s lungs as if she had been punched in the gut and her whole body felt cold. She staggered to the kitchen island and braced herself when it felt like her knees were going to fail. “You… knew? How? Did you use your powers to… to spy on me?”  
  
Kara’s voice was soft and sad. “I didn’t need my powers to hear you throwing beer bottles in the trash while I waited outside the door or to smell the alcohol on your breath. I know you thought you were hiding it from me, but I knew.”  
  
Alex’s eyes squeezed shut as all of the emotions from that time came roaring back, the humiliation, the pain, the regret, and she worried she was about to be sick. “Why…” Alex didn’t finish her sentence. She didn’t even know what she was going to ask.  
  
A warm hand settled on her back and rubbed comforting circles. “Why didn’t I say something? Why didn’t I try to help?” Alex heard the regret in Kara’s voice, heard her blame herself for something Alex had done, and the parallel struck her hard. “At first, I didn’t… know how to handle it. You were Alex. You were always so tough and so strong. It scared me.”  
  
By force of will alone, Alex pulled herself upright and made herself meet her sister’s eyes, afraid of the disappointment she would see, but instead there was only compassion, understanding, and sadness. “I was going to say something, I was. I was so worried about you. I would come over almost every day, not even knock, but just check and make sure you made it home okay.” Kara tilted her head to the side, unshed tears darkening her eyes. “I would sit out in the hallway and listen to the sound of your heartbeat until it calmed me down and then I would go to work.”  
  
“Jesus, Kara…” Guilt washed over Alex, hot and bitter.  
  
“I even had this speech all prepared. I practiced it for days, and I showed up one morning with donuts and you threw me out before I could deliver it.” Kara ran a hand through Alex’s hair, smoothing it behind an ear. “I really was going to intervene. I was afraid I was losing you.”  
  
“The next morning, I showed up again and you weren’t home. I was about to start calling the police or the morgue when you texted, said you went into the lab early. And then everything just… changed.”  
  
“Hank and the DEO.” Alex filled in the blanks. She remembered that morning, the donuts, the letter from school, and that night, the shots to ‘celebrate’ how her mom would react to knowing her ‘perfect’ daughter wasn’t so perfect after all. “He found me that night.” Even four years distant, she couldn’t tell her sister about the DUI and the drunk tank. The shame burned in her gut, even now. “He recruited me that night.”  
  
Kara hugged her, squeezing the breath out of her until her ribs ached, but Alex let her. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I hate that… that… I just watched while you were in pain.”  
  
“There wasn’t anything you could have done, Kara. I… got lost there for a while.”  
  
Biting her lip, Kara hung her head, refusing to meet Alex’s eyes. “There’s another reason it was hard for me to bring it up. A selfish reason.”  
  
Alex raised Kara’s chin so she could see her eyes, and it shocked her to see the same kind of guilt darken that blue that she so often saw in the mirror. “What are you talking about?”  
  
“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to know it was my fault.” The tears started falling in earnest as Kara choked the words out, and it was Alex’s turn to wrap her sister in a hug, holding her as she sobbed.  
  
“Kara, my… problem didn’t have anything to do with you.” If anything, the sobbing increased, and Alex carefully walked them over to the couch, collapsing with her sister in her arms. Eventually, Kara quieted and sat up, her eyes red and her hair mussed. “Why would you think any of that was your fault?”  
  
“Because from the moment I came to your house, everything was about me. I was stupid and selfish, and I didn’t think enough about what it must have been like for you. You were always so strong when I was weak, and I just thought that’s how you were.” She wiped at the corner of her eye, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “When I found out about your drinking, I couldn’t believe it, at first. I thought maybe you were just having fun, being a college student, until I realized it was more than that. Then I started to think about why, and that’s when I realized it was me.”  
  
“Kara, no…”  
  
“Yes, Alex.” Kara stood up and started pacing. “I didn’t know what a normal childhood looked like on earth, but looking back, I know yours wasn’t normal after I came into your life. How angry you must have been, how much you must have resented me. And then, Jeremiah died.” Kara stopped in the middle of the living room, her hands balled into fists. “You didn’t… mourn. You didn’t have time to. I was a basket case because someone else I knew was gone, and Eliza didn’t handle it much better. You held everyone else together, and I can’t imagine how hard that was for you. I was so wrapped up in my own loss, I wasn’t there for you.”  
  
“No, Kara, that’s not…”  
  
“I remember you holding me while I cried after your father’s death. Like it was my loss, not yours.”  
  
“It was both of ours. We both lost him.” Alex wasn’t sure where this was all coming from, why Kara would feel guilty about her actions after Jeremiah’s death. It had been a difficult moment, for them all. “You were still so frail, after the immense losses you had already suffered.”  
  
“Stop that.” Kara’s voice was stern and commanding, and it brought Alex up short. She looked up at her sister, puzzled.  
  
“Stop what?”  
  
“Comparing your loss to mine. You always do that.”  
  
“Do what?”  
  
“Minimize your loss. Your emotions. Alex, you lost your father.”  
  
“You lost your parents. Your world.”  
  
Kara hurried around the couch to sit beside Alex, grabbing her hand so hard Alex was worried she would unintentionally break a bone, but then the pressure eased off. “It’s not a competition. But you always compared your loss to mine and somehow… somehow the magnitude of my loss made you feel like your loss wasn’t as important. You lost your father, and you didn’t get a chance to mourn. You just packed your pain down somewhere and went on taking care of us.” Kara reached up and caught the tears that Alex didn’t even know were falling from her eyes. “I didn’t see it, for years, until you were drinking and I realized it was my fault.”  
  
“Kara, you didn’t do anything wrong.”  
  
“If I had never come into your life, you would have had a normal childhood. You would have had a father to watch you graduate high school and college. A mother who didn’t put pressure on you to take care of your alien sister.”  
  
Alex squeezed Kara’s hand and looked deeply into those troubled blue eyes. “Kara, I want you to hear me. I wouldn’t change a thing.” Her fingers parted Kara’s hair, soft and thick, the texture familiar from all the times she had fixed Kara’s hair when they were kids. “Do you remember what I told you when you were in thrall to the Black Mercy? Pain and loss makes us who we are. I can’t shield you from that, no more than you can shield me.” Alex sighed. “You know what I remember after dad died? You holding my hand during the funeral. You never left me alone…”  
  
“Because I was freaked out and all I could do was cling to you.”  
  
“And I clung to you. If you hadn’t been there… I don’t know what I would have done.”  
  
“I was selfish, making it all about me.”  
  
Alex was quiet for a long moment. “That image of me, being the strong one… That was something I helped craft. I clung to it when you and mom were falling apart. It was how I coped. I mourned, but I channeled a lot of my emotions into being strong, into protecting you. Until I got tired of the box I had created for myself.”  
  
Standing, Alex walked to the bathroom, returning with a box of tissue and offering it to her sister. “But you are right, I was angry. At the world, at my mom, even at my dad, for leaving me, but mostly, at myself.”  
  
“And me.”  
  
“No, I used to resent you, but I was never angry at you, Kara. Of everyone, you were the only one who loved me for who I was, not what they wanted me to be. I may have been strong, but you have always been the source of my strength.”  
  
“Alex…”  
  
“It’s true. In grad school, I was rebelling, being the teenager I wasn’t able to be when I was sixteen. I was angry and resentful, and I just wanted to throw off all the shackles of being little miss perfect and throw it in mom’s face.” Alex sighed. “I was weak and stupid, and _none of that was your fault_.”  
  
Kara looked shaken by the vehemence in Alex’s voice, and Alex hoped it was enough. She needed her sister to hear her. “It’s not a period of my life I’m particularly proud of, and I hate to know that I worried you, but I don’t blame you, and you shouldn't blame yourself.”  
  
Kara looked so much like the child who had come to live with them after the loss of her planet, and when she raised her gaze to Alex’s, Alex hated to see loss and pain back in those eyes. “Are you sure?”  
  
“I am very sure. Come here.” Alex opened her arms and Kara fell into them, tucking her head under Alex’s chin like when they were kids and Alex was the taller one. Tears fell freely, but they were freeing, like a burden lifting. They had both carried these secrets for far too long, the guilt eating at them, and having her emotions acknowledged, even validated, by her sister warmed her immeasurably.  
  
They finally collapsed back on the couch, wrung out from the emotional conversation, and Alex turned on the TV as Kara curled up, her head in Alex’s lap. “So if you weren’t out drinking, where were you tonight?”  
  
“Well, I was drinking, just not like that. I met up with Lucy for a late dinner after my combat skills workout. We had a few things to hammer out before my review.” A late night movie was playing, something old with bad effects and cartoonish aliens, and Kara giggled at the depiction of a Martian while Alex soothed her hair. “I do have a confession to make, though.”  
  
“Yeah?” Kara rolled over to look up at her sister.  
  
“You were right about me being secretive. I was worried about my shoulder, so I’ve been doing my combat skills training off-site.”  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot more confident about my recovery. I was just… afraid to let you see me struggle. I guess I bought into that image of myself as the strong one, and I’ve been afraid to let go.” Alex threaded her fingers with Kara’s and smiled down at her sister. “Apparently, that’s something I need to work on. I’ll be better, I promise.”  
  
“Thanks.” Kara sighed and snuggled in more on Alex’s lap, facing the TV once more. “I’m just bummed. I thought maybe you were sneaking around and meeting someone special, not doing combat training. I’m still waiting on you to fulfill your promise to me to find someone to be happy with.”  
  
“Yeah, well, I didn’t let you sacrifice yourself to save the world, so I have someone in my life to make me happy.”  
  
“Someone besides me, I meant,” Kara grumped, and Alex snickered. For a second, her thoughts wandered to the electricity that had jolted through her when Lucy’s lips had touched her cheek, and her lips curved into a soft smile. Then Kara squeezed her hand, grinning up at her because of some silliness on the TV, and Alex turned her attention back to her sister.  
  
***  
  
Lucy had made two circuits of the DEO before 10, and she still had not seen Alex anywhere in the building. Not in the gym, not in the armory, and not in the lab. Remembering the shock in Alex’s eyes after she had given into her impulse to brush her lips over Alex’s cheek, Lucy was starting to think that Alex was avoiding her, and a lump had taken up residence in her chest like a lead weight. Finally, she saw J’onn walking down the hall. She greeted him, but quickly overrode his attempt at small talk. “Have you seen Alex? I needed to ask her about ah, a lab report on a…”  
  
“Alex took a personal day today.”  
  
“She… did?” Lucy couldn’t remember the last time Alex had voluntarily taken time off, and her heart sank to her stomach. “Did she say why?”  
  
“No, and I didn’t ask. She’s allowed to take a day off.” He pursed his lips. “In fact, given the massive amounts of leave she’s accumulated in the last couple of years, I should insist she take more of them.”  
  
He got a call from Vasquez then, and they both hurried back to the command center, only to find it was a false alarm. Without an alien attack to distract her, Lucy started to feel the walls closing in. She made up some errand and, after looking up Alex’s address in her personnel file, left to go hunt down Alex.  
  
An hour later, Lucy found herself pacing outside of Alex’s door, regretting her decision to pick up coffee on her way over. On top of her nerves, the caffeine was sending her mind into overdrive, worrying about what to say to Alex, how to apologize and keep the fact that she was falling a little bit in love with her hidden at the same time, and most importantly, how to salvage the friendship that was slowly developing between them. Unable to calm her thoughts, Lucy was about to leave when the door swung open.  
  
“Lucy?” Alex’s wide smile calmed some of the turmoil roiling Lucy’s stomach. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“You took a personal day. I was stopping by to check on you.” Her laugh sounded forced, even to her own ears. “Wanted to make sure I didn’t keep you out too late on a school night.”  
  
Alex was dressed like she was going out, but she opened the door wider and gestured for Lucy to come in. It was just the apartment Lucy expected Alex would have, contemporary, fashionable, but cold and impersonal. Except for the pictures on the mantel, it felt as lived in as hotel room. Lucy knew Alex spent most of her time at the DEO or at Kara’s, so she wasn’t surprised. The only thing that seemed out of place was a throw blanket, bunched up on the couch as if someone had been sleeping there recently. Alex retreated to the kitchen, heading for a small coffee maker with half a pot still on the burner. “You want some coffee? I just turned it off.”  
  
“I picked up some on my way over, thanks.”  
  
Alex poured herself a cup and set it on the kitchen island, her finger tapping on the white diner mug as she seemed to be collecting her thoughts. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I just… needed a little time to process a few things.”  
  
“Process things?” Lucy hadn’t meant for the words to come out as sharp as they did, but her stomach was doing flip-flops as she tried to get a read on Alex’s mood. She had thought she was getting better at that, but she apparently wasn’t as good as she hoped.  
  
Taking a small sip of her coffee, Alex sighed. “Yeah. Kara was here when I came home last night.”  
  
“Kara?” Suddenly, Lucy realized that Alex’s personal day might not have anything to do with her, and she wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or mortified by her ego. “What... what did she want?”  
  
“There’s been some things that we’ve been needing to talk about, and Kara noticed my schedule had changed with our training. She was… concerned. She thought I was hiding something, so we were up late talking… and watching black-and-white sci-fi movies on TV.” Alex grinned at the last and laughed at herself. “So yes, I took a personal day because I was up late on a school night, but not because of you.”  
  
“You okay?” Lucy’s voice softened, finally noticing the dark circles and the slight puffiness around Alex’s eyes.  
  
“Yeah, it was just a long night. Kara was here until about five in the morning. We fell asleep on the couch at some point, but she recovers from that a lot better than I do.” Alex's expression unexpectedly darkened as her gaze shifted to her coffee cup, staring into the liquid for a long moment. Lucy held her breath a little, waiting for Alex to say whatever was on her mind, but then Alex raised her head and smiled. “I don’t know what I did, but my coffee sucks this morning. I was about to head out and get a real cup and a scone. Want to join me?”  
  
“Sure. My treat.” Alex started to object but Lucy cut her off. “It’s the least I can do after showing up at your apartment like some kind of stalker. Although I’m amazed that you even have a coffee maker in your apartment. I thought the Danvers sisters specialized in takeout.”  
  
“That’s probably why my coffee sucks. I assure you, my cupboards are as devoid of pots and pans as you are assuming.” Lucy chuckled, wondering if her thoughts had been that transparent. Alex set her cup in the sink and took a deep breath that seemed to settle her. “Okay, Major, buy me a cup of coffee.”


End file.
